In Southern Europe, ‘enslaved grandparent syndrome’ is a reality. Across Spain, Italy, and Greece, millions of grandparents are stepping in as unpaid, full-time babysitters. And they are exhausted. They were promised rest. Instead, they got another round of parenting, with fewer breaks and more gray hair.
The term was coined by psychologists in Spain, where around 35% of people over 65 care for their grandchildren several days a week. That is more than double the rates in France, Germany, or the UK. This is no gentle, once-a-week visit. It is daily pickups, diaper duty, and endless bedtime stories.
Is Retirement Hijacked by Childcare?
Many of these grandparents didn’t sign up for this. After decades of working jobs, raising families, and managing households, they were ready to breathe. Instead, they are pulled back in. Only this time, it is unpaid, often unappreciated, and physically draining.
Pixabay / Pexels / In Spain, a growing number of older adults are pushing back. They are speaking out about the pressure to provide free childcare.
Retirement was supposed to be about them, not about holding up the next generation’s shaky schedule.
The weight of this crisis falls hard on women. Grandmothers often carry the bulk of caregiving. They are watching the grandkids and managing care for elderly parents or sick spouses. It is a second shift that never ends. And the truth is, unpaid care work is still a gendered burden that retirement doesn’t erase.
A Broken System, Not a Family Choice
Enslaved grandparent syndrome exposes the failure of modern systems to support working families. Capitalism leans on the unpaid labor of grandparents, mostly grandmothers, to fill the gaps in crumbling childcare services. When formal care is too expensive or scarce, family becomes the default safety net.
And that safety net is fraying. Parents are frustrated. They need help and can’t afford daycare. Grandparents are exhausted. They want to help but can’t keep up. Everyone feels like they are failing. It is a cycle of burnout that has been normalized, but it is not sustainable.
Nilov / Pexels / As people have children later in life, the age gap between parents and grandparents grows. That means many grandparents are in their 70s or even 80s when they are called to care.
Politicians talk a lot about raising birth rates. They want families to grow. But what they are not doing is fixing the problem at the root. Affordable, reliable childcare is missing. Until that changes, grandparents will continue to be the backup plan, and families will continue to break under the strain.
Time for Recognition and Real Support
Some say, “But they love their grandkids!” Sure, many do. And lots of grandparents want to help. The problem isn’t the time they choose to spend. It is when help becomes an obligation. When saying no isn’t an option, and when love turns into labor.
There is a growing call for change. Some grandparents are asking to be compensated. Not because they are greedy, but because their work matters. Watching young kids for hours a day isn’t casual. It is labor. And like all labor, it deserves recognition.
Old-school family care norms don’t match today’s world. People live longer, but that doesn’t mean they want to work forever. Families are struggling financially, but this shouldn’t come at the cost of elder well-being.
If enslaved grandparent syndrome continues unchecked, we will see more tension between generations. Grandparents will continue to resent their loss of freedom. Parents will be unsupported and overwhelmed. Kids will grow up in households stretched thin.
